The Loop

Here she is, the prettiest girl in the world. She started school this week. We were pretty nervous for her. Preschool drop-offs never went well last year, and she was telling us how nervous she was all summer. "What if I don't know where to get off the bus?" "What if I can't find the library?" "What if I can't find the bathroom?" "It's so big!"

For the first "unofficial day of school" they had the kids and moms come in for an hour. She would not shake her teacher's hand. She would not look at her teacher's face. She would not sit with the other kids on the rug and color on butcher paper unless I sat right next to her. Her newest threat for me was, "Mom if you don't ____, I will NEVER go to school." Not a great start. We have thirteen more years, and I always thought those big guns were saved for 16 when a child threatened to drop out. Hhhmmm...

So, bedtime stories became stories about Ava's first day of school. Throughout the day I would exclaim my excitement about her new classroom, how much I liked her teacher, the new friends she would make, etc. The Family Home Evening topic was having a spirit of adventure. Mom popped through a bedroom door on her way to an adventure with Ava's school backpack on her back (subtle associations at work) and pulled out a smiley face. Talk of new outfits tucked away for the start of school errupted in our household. Neighbors joined forces and ranted about how proud they were of her for being big enough to attend kindergarten.

School started with a bang. She proudly climbed up the bus steps and waved farewell with a smile on her face. She excitedly told me about the people in her class, going to her art class, interviews with the principal and taking tests. Day number two she was slightly less enthusiastic about climbing on the bus, but coaxable. Day number three I pull her from my van trunk, and place her on the bus. Day number four we miss the bus because she is hiding from me when I tell her it's time to get ready to go. Hhmmm...what went amiss?

Meanwhile, Ezra is spending the day running laps. A few months ago he got pretty violent with his sister and was biting non-stop. We tried everything from time-outs, to doing service for her, to teaching him to bite something else (like his blanket), to (yes, I'll admit it) biting him back, of course emphasizing COMMUNICATION ( talk, don't bite. Yell, don't bite. ok, SCREAM, but DO NOT BITE!!!), but the only thing that seemed to work was sending him out to run laps. It was a miracle! Within a few days our boy was doing a lot of running, and not as much biting or hitting or pinching.

Perhaps it's missing his grandpas (we've just spent a month with family). Perhaps it's all the attention Ava is getting. Who knows, but this kid's teeth are a danger in our family! Wednesday and Thursday alone, he bit four times and socked our 8 year old neighbor, and little Mark in the stomach.

So, I have one child I have to physically place on the school bus in the morning; one child who is running laps and SCREAMING about it all morning, and one child who is almost two and besides calling all the ones he loves "mama" (mike, grandpas and Ava included) doesn't say much of anything.

As an outsider looking in, what is going on in that family????

The whole while I have am thinking about my new calling as primary president and thinking, aren't primary president's supposed to have a better handle on how to deal with children? This ward is in for a real treat.

Just in case you are worried about Ava, I talked to her teacher today as I dropped her off. She was surprised at the resistance and said she is participating and interacting at school. She did mention that she sometimes see Ava catching herself having fun and then pulling back a little. We'll keep on working on it.

Any advice, sage mothers? I'm hoping starting school throws a loop through everyone's household. Especially, I guess, if it's for the first time.